Chapter 6 of Part II of social interaction skills

 Chapter 6 of Part II of social interaction skills
knowledge makes a man gentle, and communication make one perfect.
Mm care. Fuller
Carnegie that successful, only 15% was due to his expertise, the remaining 80% should be attributed to human relationships, coping skills seek the cooperation. human life is beautiful beautiful, rich life is rich in human relationships. pleasant, worry, sadness, love and hate, all the same contacts and relationships with others are closely related. Today's youth need not only to learn lessons , parents need to guide children gradually master the interpersonal ability to prepare for their future. interpersonal communication is the child learn how to behave, from the exchanges to expand children's horizons, so to learn from his life that are not in books but in real life and really need the knowledge.
one polite upbringing
in neat little, her Mom and Dad to use a positive, encouraging attitude made him a more polite. On one occasion, spotlessly clean streets together with her mother to buy things, when crossing the street, neat to see a grandfather with mobility problems, they take the initiative on Grandpa held on the road to go through. That very grateful neat grandfather, bless him for learning from Lei Feng is the boy. walk in the back of my mother stopped him immediately, and said softly: No? next to the uncle smiled at you, aunt gives you a behind the eyes to praise, even the little sister who are street thumbs up to you, too! said: civilized manners; In contrast, in the person of a poor upbringing, even if the brave will be brutal, even profound knowledge will also become pedantic and ostentatious, wit will become flatter, innocence will be rude and ignorant, in short, is nothing , unwelcome. but also in daily study, work and life, is to establish good relationships courtesy of vulgar, foul-mouthed person being greeted could it? Needless to say, the answer must be no. a lack of tutor even erudite people profit to have learned, nor any future at all. But the opposite case, a graceful, kind and courteous people, must be welcomed by the people, interpersonal communication is not difficult for him, is conducive to his future development. So, hurry up to parents to their children to develop into an educated man it.
(a) of the parents out of the wrong educational philosophy of life which
Parents are their children's first teachers, parents, words and deeds, ideas and personality are all children have a far-reaching impact. Therefore, as a parent must first get rid of wrong philosophy of education, establish a new, correct concepts to educate children.
* attention to the importance of education. There are some parents that speak of individual freedom in modern society, know anything about the civilization and etiquette does not matter, as long as the study, have the ability on the line. but everyone knows Some parents think that children are too honest is not good, that is certain to be high-handed, it is not bullying. But as long as look to the real successful people around, a few do not understand civilized manners? our country has always been a ceremonies, The degree of civilization and etiquette is an important symbol of social civilization, civilization and manners of modern society's requirements even higher.
(b) focus on fostering children's personal manners
parents should be in our daily life, pay attention to behavior, conversation, dress, children focus on several aspects of their personal training rituals, and give them a good impression.
* grooming aspects. principle is neat and clean, face, neck, hands should be washed clean. Qin nails wash it; morning and evening brushing, mouthwash after meals, pay attention to oral health; frequent bathing to ensure the body does not smell; clothing should be clean, neat, fit.
* behavior aspects. goal is to wind, such as the bell sitting, lying, such as bow showed a V shape out. To avoid lethargy, shrug, Tayao. formal occasions can not hips or hands folded, sitting straight upright but not rigid requirements, legs spaced shoulder width, hands on the knee or the arm of the natural, This decent, do not Bantang semi-sitting. walk tall and proud, shoulders and natural swing, pace is moderate, to prevent splayed feet, staggered, or tweaking Scattered.
* expression an air of respect. the most important is to show respect for people, understanding and goodwill. face with a natural smile, do not appear casually teeth, ears dig, dig nose, itching, pull the pin and other bad habits of action.
* speech wording. asked to do sincere and friendly, the use of civilization honorifics, simple decency, we can neither quiet nor long-winded repetition. to carefully listen to each other talk, talk not to look around, look at other things. talk to a lot of time, not only with one person talking rather than to others.
(c) let the children learn etiquette in public places
parents take their child to public places, pay attention to from the walk, ask for directions, travel, shopping, etc. to teach children in these should show the local behavior.
* walk. to obey the traffic rules; encountered an acquaintance to say hello and greeted each other, can not turn a blind eye, if you want to talk, should step aside to the corner of the children or talk to them or who can not stand in the road crowded areas; give way to pedestrians, take the initiative to the elders, the disabled way.
* ask the way. combined with the appropriate title, such as Then ask the road; Be polite greeting such as by a stranger asking for directions, you should seriously and carefully answered that he do not know, I should say staff for their hard work, do not use throw benches and other waste; try to advance to the scene, late, walking posture when seated lower, faster; watched the performance, we should respect the actors, timely polite applause.
* car. take the bus, When the train, crowded, young and old to take care of sick and learn to seat; be hit crowded, to understanding, tolerance of others, not curses.
(d) teach children etiquette of hospitality and guest
home to guests, to be prepared in advance, parents can try to have children learn to master as guests.
* welcoming. greet the guests entered the room when the initiative to help customers put clothes, seated in the right places guests ; take the initiative to send the guests drink the beverage; delivery of goods received with both hands.
* conversation. let the child take the initiative and generous conversation with the guests, not formal, make guests feel like at home, like.
* see a visitor. guests should be polite to go to stay, saying, , say thanks, such as Teachers talk about an open class, a surprise was actually a very young and beautiful women. grade teacher said in class she would casually walk into a classroom. no one would have thought a school her into the most famous backward classes. This classroom podium scattered mess of chalk, white table covered with a layer of chalk Hu Hu. grade teacher visits a week with a look, quickly and expertly packed chalk scattered on the table, and then from the rostrum, turned around, facing the blackboard, her back to the students, gently blow off the table chalk. a moment of silence in the classroom after a round of applause rang out. All the teachers and students to her with applause opening remarks hit the highest points. lectures her students out to do some exercises, and then she explained the vivid description of these few, practice. finished, she said to the students: eyebrows, temporarily do not have a smile on the students. , has entered the era of information explosion, excellent ability to communicate with people is a link made of gold, attached to you and others, attached to you and your success. Good communication skills, greatly increasing a person in the fierce competition the opportunity to stand out. Let the child from now trained to a good communication skills, is paving the way for his future life. To get your child to become a successful person, we should make him master of gold and people skills to communicate effectively.
(a) let the children learn the basic skills of communication
If your child is not yet very good at communicating with people skills, as parents, do not worry, because good communication skills are acquired through learning can be , there is a symptomatic. might as well let your child learn these techniques:
* grasp the occasion to speak. let the child know that words should be noted occasions on with their age, identity, talking to different people tone, the wording is not the same. For example, the relationship can be close friends and their own joke, the elders can not do.
* grasp the opportunity to speak. a person, even if it be wonderful to speak, if not grasp the opportunity effect may not reach or simply counter-productive. So, let the child learn the character of the other, psychological, as well as the atmosphere and other conditions at that time to consider what they said.
* their own meaning to say it. The ultimate goal is to communicate information to each other while talking to both sides of the problem is only the concept of clear and consistent, you will be the other point of view, understand, accept, to avoid misunderstandings.
* communicate with others before breath. There of people with others, especially strangers or talk to important people, nervous stage fright. in the past to communicate with others, first adjust your breathing smooth, clear thinking, naturally, also organized a talk.
* a good start. These methods beginning: the beginning of the story, beginning with the words of praise to the beginning of the words involved in each other's interests.
* into the communication among the emotions. Art of the blood, contains true feelings in the language to better, faster rise to the resonance of the other side and sincerely appreciate each other's situation and feelings, to communicate with people there to express the emotion.
* reasonable with the body language . in the time to communicate with others, cooperate with the body language right in, you can very well promote communication effects. For example, look the person in front of people's attention, said, raised her eyebrows sometimes expressed interest in using gestures for emphasis .
* use the appropriate means of communication. Typically, communication methods are oral, written, electronic media, etc., let the child learn to communicate depending on content, communication goals, combined with their own specific circumstances, select a or to combine in several ways.
(b) let the children pay attention to the basic principles of communication to communicate with others
is to effectively convey information to each other and find ways to let the other party to accept it. Parents can communicate the following the basic principles of this child, let him apply these principles, know their own communication behavior:
* efficiency. effective communication, that is, both of which pay attention to communication efficiency, and can pursue to benefit. good at communicating with people who usually very efficient, they will not verbose, and it will pay attention to the economics of communication.
* positive communication. in order to achieve successful communication with people, it is necessary to maintain a positive attitude to infect each other, to overcome the communication obstacles.
* strive to clear. If you can clear in the communication to express themselves, it is easy to achieve the desired objectives. can do this, clear understanding of the content of the expression of the heart and concisely present information to confirm the information by their own clear and correct understanding.
* to maintain interaction. communication is to make the double cross of mutual understanding, both sides can interact, is basically good communication results. to give each other some chance to speak, listen carefully to themselves, but also from that on the other side do not understand the situation before, so that communication be improved.
(c) of the parents chatted with the children in life
To foster the children's communication skills, the parents would often chat with their children, so that Children learn to communicate with their parents. But parents do not think this is a simple matter, in order to truly play the role of communication skills to improve children is to a lot of attention.
* timing. chatting time can be selected before going to bed after dinner, take the child out of the way from school, or wherever there chat when the mood. But the children do not choose what they like when.
* Note contents. gossip is gossip, not to make small talk eventually become even admonished to teach the child. Please keep in mind their parents, how do you chat with your friends, on how to chat with your child.
* understand the importance of small talk. Do not think that chat is dispensable If you can do with the child once every week to chat, then close the child's communication skills improved significantly, and will find yourself to be a highly competent parents.
* pay attention to feelings. parents feeling on both sides of chat bear the main responsibility for the child's psychological and try to figure out more interest in and grasp the subject, so that parents and children can have a good at communication.
three master communication skills
such a young man, he wanted a big company travel sponsorship. will find ways to learn through a variety of ways, general manager of the company with a strong show of their own desires. also I heard he has a voided check for a million then, put it on display in a cabinet. So, the day the young man shouted at the sight of the general manager, said: that a check of one million, one million it! to shut up about himself to him how to be generous, grand, speaking a few hours. in the rejoicing, the general manager is very easy to sign a check for a thousand dollars to sponsor young short-distance travel, and also bored to guide this young man for a long time to do it. The young man is relying on his own communication skills and proficient in triumph.
communicative competence is in the process of human development play an important role in the ability. Carnegie once said, a successful, professional knowledge is the role played by 15%, accounted for 85% of communicative competence. interpersonal harmony, communication skills of high-strength, is the future an important criterion for successful social judgments. Looking at the world today, really can feel: a successful manager or entrepreneur and outstanding communication skills all together. However, there are many children of poor communication, not communication, and even fear communication, the development will go to the adult but also as communication, such as rapids. In fact, the communication as a capacity, but also can take the train, and should be from an early age. As parents, how to develop children's communication skills do?
( a) In the life of the child's communication skills training
Chinese society has a long tradition of attention to relationships with particular emphasis on harmony between people, so the parents want their children to learn in everyday life interpersonal communication capacity. recommended the following measures to strengthen the child's communication skills:
* Encourage your child to participate in various sports activities. Sports is a direct contact and competition with others facing the group activities, always have two or more persons meaningful participation and, more importantly, physical activity not only need the wisdom and strength, but also courage. This courage, interpersonal communication is an essential element. child once fell in love with sports, will take the initiative to find opponents, which kinds of search, that is communication; the right opponent, is often a partner with deep friendship, there is help to improve communication skills.
* often travel together with their children. Tourism is an open sexual activity, communication is open, The two are interlinked. use of holidays with the children out of the house, toward society and nature, can increase their knowledge, refine their temperament, we can train interested and open minded. in tourism, some to buy tickets, hotel accommodation, into the hotels, tickets purchased, if the parents consciously want children to do these things, then the child can directly access to some new object, learn about new communication content. travel end of the wide knowledge, and talk of more, which gave after increased communication topics.
* consciously to the commodity exchange to have children. parents age, according to the size of a child, conscious to them in the trading activities of small items. For example, buying Youyanjiangcu even buy fish, meat, rice, coal, also had better wear them to buy their own shoes, socks, gloves and the like. home what old newspapers, old clothes, empty bottles, etc., you can ask them to take it collection stations sold. commodity trading is interpersonal in a special case. In the transaction, it can be exposed to all sorts of people, is conducive to communication objects enrich and deepen people's understanding and knowledge to improve their communication skills.
* consciously to have children guest hospitality alone. let the children go alone to the students or neighbors stopping by, this is the opportunity to exercise communication skills the child. stopping a guest, you need greetings and greetings, but also need to talk and to send and receive about gifts. overhauled to become a child of a person characters, all contacts with each other had to socialize by themselves, no doubt the child into the front, to consider how to promote their communication. home to the guests, sometimes you might let the children go to reception, especially with children of similar age guests or friends Parents do not monopolizing everything.
(b) the success of interpersonal rules
in life, some people are good at communication, people are willing to deal with him, he do things well. but some people have mentioned committed to working with people to fear, interpersonal relationships is also very nervous. This is caused by different communication skills, so parents should teach their children up the success of interpersonal rules.
* full of energy, full of confidence. a passionate man , have a full and fiery heart to treat people infected naturally make the other side, and let people have their own warm. a person with full confidence in the state action would be easier to get the confidence of others, remember that people believed the good interpersonal, people smile and have a charm to buy. Therefore, let the child learn from these people every day to keep smiling you will find that his friend became more up.
* Control your emotions . will have to be able to control social person, their emotions, especially not in front of friends casually express their dissatisfaction or anger turned, so be subject to hate.
* Learn to listen. human communication is not unidirectional, but two-way interaction is needed. So, do not indulge in the exchanges which focus only on their feelings, learn to listen, to tell your friends the opportunity to heart.
* Institute of thanks and praise. get sincere gratitude and praise Who will be happy happy. so cherish in your heart of gratitude and respect to others when we must seize the opportunity to say it, the other moved.
(c) of the parents to overcome their parents do not want a correct understanding
child's skills substantial improvement in the treatment of the child's communication problems, we should strive to overcome this is not a correct understanding of the three:
* communication ability is innate, not culture culture does not matter. In fact, communication skills, as A skill is the gradual formation of nurture, culture methods is the actual exchanges.
* glib is not capable. and ingenuity, like a silver tongue is also a skill. Some people in the 21st century, such a set several criteria: eloquent, Tung Wen Mo, Big World ears, will the importance of the future society is evident in.
* that the communication will affect their learning. excessive, and poor communication does affect those who learn, but modest, with like-minded persons, and better than their own people contacts, will not affect learning, but help to promote learning, contributes to intellectual activated. Communication is an idea, opinion and feelings of the collision, the collision frequency, the two sides can often get inspiration for inspiration, to be together.
Fourth, grasp the scale of the opposite sex with sixteen-year-old Li Qiang
has almost become an energetic young man, and academic performance among the best, which makes the family feel very proud of is assured. But in a recent Midterm exam, Li Qiang, the results suddenly uncharacteristically showed a larger decline. parents began to worry about, talked with him, Li Qiang, said nonchalantly: to work harder, sure to catch up with the. deep smile, and his parents said it was a deliberate decision to discuss the future, they believe that is not as simple as embarrassment, when they see each other uncomfortable.
When students have been First love, or just in the heart secretly anxious, or insinuated to discourage or to stop without any explanation, rarely open to communicate with young people, not to provide them with guidance. But in the vast sea which, in addition to men is a woman, the opposite sex is not only inevitable, but also the child of life, the most important in modern society the most basic form of communication. So, if the parents really concerned about the happiness of the child's life, career success, we must let the child have with the opposite sex get along with the ability to grasp the scale with the opposite sex.
(a) of the parents to get rid of misconceptions
parents often concept to establish a correct guiding ideology scientific education children. parents should pay attention to the existence of their own experience the following problems:
* student's main task is to learn, grow up with the opposite sex is the thing. This argument sounds quite reasonable, in fact, is full of contradictions. the students are reading their own work, do other things, there ought to Newcastle. But do not forget, , and let him with the opposite sex but will stimulate their curiosity or a rebellious heart, chosen to mix with the opposite sex.
* primary and secondary survivors immature, naive, and do not have the ability to interact with the opposite sex. This view The subtext is: with the opposite sex is a very special task that requires the ability to prepare non-general, and this ability can not by itself exercise with the opposite sex to form. This will be the opposite sex a mystery to the opposite sex a restricted zone, increased young people's psychological burden of the opposite sex. In fact, one does not learn with the opposite sex, who did not reach heterogeneous sociability is hardly a mature person. Yes, young people do not mature However, the psychological maturity can not be obtained by waiting, the skills with the opposite sex only to explore in practice to improve.
* with the opposite sex will be distributed energy, affect their learning. this claim is against the child and One of the main reasons for the opposite sex. such a person as and the enormous mental pressure. study found that a very successful with the opposite sex, often in high spirits, energetic, learning and work efficiency are very high. Therefore, as opposed to with the opposite sex is not advisable as not unworthy .
* with the opposite sex are likely to develop as a their alone, probably in the discussion of learning problems, it may be something in the exchange of views, even in the discussion of how can we avoid the Luantie around a label, the label once posted, the two students will have the mouth Nanbian, external pressure or even force them to really talk about love.
(b) to grasp the scale with the opposite sex
In fact, the Institute with the opposite sex, to achieve heterogeneous social activities is . Therefore, with the opposite sex is not ; hardship. Children from the into a smooth-tongued.
* not to be overly cautious. in which girls and exchanges, said the said the Laugh need to shake hands to shake hands, this is normal, but if the coy words to make people hate. of course if too casually, it must be girls who will scare away.
If the girl, the parents let them remain important to note that the scale of interaction with men, so that both show the child to avoid swallowing the bitter fruit of the charm but also for the best.
* Do not always cold. Although the exchanges were generally men take the initiative, but if you ignore the girls had been to keep the long, the boys dared not close, and will become desolate.
* Do not over-enthusiasm. If the girls behave in the interaction among the over-enthusiasm, will let the other person feel that it is frivolous, often produce non- points to is not conducive to normal contacts.
* to be vigilant. ulterior motive, to take defensive action.
five, became a popular person
Homer. Clovis is a very people who know how to make friends. Those who met him, whether or old millionaire Young women and children, along with his 15 minutes, ensure that he will have a good impression. because what is it? he was neither young, nor handsome, nor wealthy, then how can charm to attract it? Actually, it is very simple, He never artificial, and always make others feel like he's concerned about is from the heart. He met a stranger every time, just as quickly struck up a conversation with an old friend does not specifically talk about mm own business, but about other things as far as possible. He asked the questions through, you can come to know each other is playing where, what, what the family and so on. but he can not chatter, chatter incessantly, but which the expressed their interest in each other and care for the harmony of friendship to start. The children love to climb on his lap; a friend's house servants will be particularly hard to prepare meals for him. And, if someone said: Lovie here tonight! several grandchildren, all full of praise for him.
parents know, in interpersonal relationships which make a popular, cute people, is a very happy thing. such a person life, often in their own career would have it both ways, even in the face great difficulties will be resolved quickly and easily. So, parents hope their children will become people who like it? so that the child is not only successful , but also happy! but how do that? Do not worry, we can learn from the experience of the hero of the story to develop children's skills in this area. what the writer is happy to win this? to say is very simple, mainly the following aspects, if able to learn by analogy, then, your child must do better.
(a) Why do people like you?
expectations of every one of us by others like themselves, however, Why do people like yourself? this world no one has the obligation to have to like you, whether work or social reasons, people have any particular reason to choose you and not others? unless they want with others characteristics, otherwise, people do not need special attention to you. So should let children know that to win people's friendship and affection, we must first create some others prefer their own reasons.
* to heart to improve their attitude . in interpersonal relationships among them, do not worry about whether other people like themselves, but to intentions to improve their attitude and make other people like to enhance the quality of their own. In fact, I think carefully, there is no life other than love themselves, but if they are worthy of people to come to love.
* others with sincerity, love others. tell the children, with people, do not care what other people or what you do, how to position, will bring their own What sort of issues of interest. In fact, ...